I like the ambiguity of this sign. And also the inferred surf rage that could ensue in disobeying it.

There was another sign further down the beach that read, “No casting, fishing only.”

Thanks to Mark for snapping this while he was in California…

I must have seen this billboard 5 or 6 times before I finally realized what they were doing…

I would catch glimpses of it as I slalomed other commuters in the breakneck race for Penn Station. Amidst the rush, all I ever really noticed of this billboard was the enormous “Remorse’ls” fudge rounds and the bright white text, “Chocolaty goodness without the guilt.” Seemed tongue-in-cheek in intention, yet just didn’t work. And to top off the ambiguity, fudge-covered remorse looks so delicious!

So when I finally left work a few minutes earlier and had some time to stop and take a picture of it for Gawking In Traffic, I noticed the real product in the bottom right corner…

Huh… thanks, but I’ll take remorse.

Anyone have a Mallomar?

I figure the “Push-Pull” stickers come in packages of two, but that doesn’t mean you have to use them both.

“A heads-up. Starting in 2015, the new Second Avenue Subway will help relieve overcrowding on the Lexington lines. Overdue, but excellent news.”

When I hear the phrase, “Heads up…” on a subway, I tend to expect it to be followed with something like, “there’s something weird on that handle…” or, “that guy is rummaging through your bag…” or, “your leashed puppy is on the other side of the train door.”

Something with… immediate importance. “Heads up” is a need-to-know-NOW exclamation, often why it is shouted just before a poorly aimed Frisbee clocks an unsuspecting jogger in the mouth or a careening soccer ball kicked by an overzealous father takes a toddler clean off her feet.

Granted, giving someone “a heads-up” does imply you’re letting them know in advance, but I would venture to say that it is understood to have relevance to a more immediate situation. “A heads-up” 6 years in advance seems to warrant a more appropriate headline – something like, “Notice…” or, “By the way…” or possibly, “Sucks to be you now, but…”

The next time I have a 6’8” man’s underarm pressed over my head, a 5’1” woman’s excessively large, patent-leather handbag pushing my knees out the other direction, and a yellow-toothed old man reeking of alcohol breathing over my shoulder, I’ll do my best of finding comfort in this “overdue, but excellent news.”

Spotted this priceless signage just outside Penn Station. I have yet to see another street sales table command my attention like this one did.

Seriously, he even spelled it “dolla.” I almost offered him money for the sign.

You think there’s a McDonald’s anywhere nearby?

I’ve always wondered who said that!!! …

Wow. Such marvelous eloquence. The question now becomes which came first, the quote or the perfume? My guess is the quote, since the idea of being able to “fall in love all over again” seems to have been around a lot longer than that perfume could have been…

On a related note, as if finding the source of such a timeless quote in the makeup section of the mall wasn’t serendipitous enough, I found this melted puddle shortly thereafter on the platform at the train station:

It was obviously around Valentines Day.

I did not take this picture to say anything about the apparent misplacement of the apostrophe after “GET” instead of before “EM.” That only just occurred to me now… and that’s not worth a blog posting.

No, the reason I took this picture is because of that glorious tagline: GET ‘EM

“Hey, look! I’ve got socks for $1. You know what you should do? GET ‘EM!”

And of course every sign was the same, with a different dollar amount:

Sunglasses? GET ‘EM!

Handbags? GET ‘EM!

Mysteriously misspelled “name brand” hats? GET ‘EM!

Wallet just get stolen? GET ‘EM!!!!!

I can only imagine the offensive hilarity that was this spectacle. In case you don’t realize, Irving, the kindly chap in the upper left of the poster, is also Chinese Charlie, that unmistakably Asian man to the right (I kept the image size big so that you can click it and get a closer look).

That’s right - his stage name, for what I can only imagine was a box office sensation, was Chinese Charlie. “Ancient mysteries… MODERNIZED” (emphasis added, sorta – it depends on how you interpret the wrapping all-capped text on the poster) and his name was the first target.

Oh, and PLEASE!!! Someone out there tell me what those characters on the poster actually say. Something tells me it’s either packaging instructions off of a random box or entirely made up.

Or maybe a pet scooter? Oh… a pet tree that grows money! I bet you allow those, right?

OK, so I know… there was an “S” there. You can see it faded in the picture. But my friend Mark and I really didn’t notice it at first. Oh, by the way, these are the same folks that only accept “cash” - so at least they figured out the underline method somewhere between the register and the door.

But even if the “S” were darker, my dog doesn’t have a bike, so he wouldn’t bring one in anyway.

Wait… some people’s pets have bikes?!?! Hahaha… Satchel would look so funny trying to ride a bike. And it would have to be so SMALL!!!