Which is good because if you have any trouble, you have double the assistance of the Help and Support Center.

This is a sign on the Mars Petcare campus in China (Mars, as in M&Ms. And yes, they are in the pet food business – Pedigree, Whiskas, and Sheba are all Mars brands).

It’s a fun barrage of things that, for your own safety, you can’t do – including sleeping, spitting, playing, and taking pictures.

As for this photo itself, is it unauthorized? I don’t think so – I mean, really, you need a picture to reference if you’re going to remember all that.

I guess there’s a few possibilities here. Could be the manufacturer, and the shirt itself is made from something like flash paper. Or maybe it’s a problem with consumers, putting space heaters in cribs or something.

Honestly, I can only think of one child who’s parents should be concerned about whether or not his clothes are flame-resistant.

But really, note how small that tag isn’t. They seem pretty serious.

I didn’t expect to top the last recession DVD salesman, but we have. Heroically. And on the same street corner.

I can honestly say I have never been closer to purchasing a DVD for $5 than I was right here. Commanding the attention of thousands of New Yorkers at rush hour on the corner of 7th Ave & 34th, this man unabashedly paced back and forth, fearlessly shouting, “Everyone! Come and see! Everyone! Come and see!”

I was secretly hoping he was about to hog-tie a tourist with a steel bar off the stair railing.

And while generally speaking I am an advocate of relevancy in marketing, I can’t fight the awesomeness of those cowboy boots.

I found myself unconvinced of the utmost effectiveness of this particular location.

A whole lot.

My friend Meredith spotted this on the subway. This is Duane Reade reminding New Yorkers of a fact preferred left unsaid – and doing a marvelous job of illustrating the convenience of a little Purell hand sanitizer.

I like it.

Back of the truck: what do you see?

If you said a mostly obscene shot of a dairy cow’s hindquarters wearing a sombrero, you are correct.

If you said a one-armed man with enormous hips wearing a pink frock, cow-patterned western jacket, and sombrero, you are also correct. A true “cowboy.”

“Country Fresh Dairy Products.” Naturally, country=western and dairy=bovine derrière…

And voila! I’ll never look at milk and ice cream the same way.

UPDATE: Jane has brought it to my attention that the “sombrero” is the hat of the kid leading the cow, that you see on the side of the truck. Guess I didn’t stare long enough…

My wife downloaded this in my honor from the Backgrounds app on her iPod and sent it to me. So simple and so very true.

I like the ambiguity of this sign. And also the inferred surf rage that could ensue in disobeying it.

There was another sign further down the beach that read, “No casting, fishing only.”

Thanks to Mark for snapping this while he was in California…

I must have seen this billboard 5 or 6 times before I finally realized what they were doing…

I would catch glimpses of it as I slalomed other commuters in the breakneck race for Penn Station. Amidst the rush, all I ever really noticed of this billboard was the enormous “Remorse’ls” fudge rounds and the bright white text, “Chocolaty goodness without the guilt.” Seemed tongue-in-cheek in intention, yet just didn’t work. And to top off the ambiguity, fudge-covered remorse looks so delicious!

So when I finally left work a few minutes earlier and had some time to stop and take a picture of it for Gawking In Traffic, I noticed the real product in the bottom right corner…

Huh… thanks, but I’ll take remorse.

Anyone have a Mallomar?